This Blog Is Going To Hibernate

As you can see I have not posted in about a month. I know I said I wanted to continue writing this blog and I do, however coming back to uni it’s really sank in how much work my last year is going to need and as this blog is not on my priority list I will sadly have to stop blogging as I really just don’t have the time for it. Hopefully when this stressful year is over though I can continue blogging, but for now it’s a Aufwiedersehen!

Carina xo

A Wee Trip To Northern Ireland

It had been a while since I’d visited my mums side of the family in Northern Ireland, so before uni started I decided it would be nice to have a break for myself and so I hopped on the plane from Newcastle to Belfast and spent a lovely chilled week in Carrickfergus.

I didn’t really get up to too much but that’s what was nice in itself, just being able to relax without the constant drone of worry in the back of my mind concerning a growing list of things I need to get done. I did go swimming 4x whilst there which was good fun, I love swimming but never get round to it here as I feel the pool is too far away, but maybe I’ll try and go occasionally now as I did love it! Anyway, here are some photos to show you what I was up to on my wee holiday.

Whitehead

A cloudy morning, but the sun streamed through the clouds eventually and made for a lovely stroll along this cute seaside promenade known for it’s coloured houses.

Ballycarry

On Saturday my aunt and uncle took me to a little village festival. It was the nicest day that week and after securing some chairs in front of the pub we basked in the sun, had a few pints and enjoyed the bagpipes and drums in the background, sadly there were no Irish dancers this year though, which there had been in the past apparently.

Belfast

The day before I left I went into Belfast with my gran as I wanted to visit the Mac gallery. It was a horribly grey morning but brightened up into a lovely afternoon.  We started of at the Mac Gallery, then dandered along the streets (I loved seeing some beautiful architecture and street art on walls all across the city) sat down for a well brewed coffee and did a little naughty shopping. It was a nice day out!

Carina xo

Update !

Right, firstly I want to apologise for the lack of posting recently. I have been debating and deciding whether to keep this blog going or not. Primarily because I know I suck at updating it regularly and I write about more failure than success, and secondly because doing it properly does take a lot of time, which starting my final year at uni in a week, I won’t have a lot of and thirdly I feel like my blog is all over the place. However, in the end I do love writing this blog and so I think I will keep going. I am not happy with the flow of my blog though and feel something needs to change if I am to continue, but admittedly I’m a little lost as to how to proceed. So any suggestions welcome haha, I’d love to know what you enjoy reading most or what I should post more of?! Anyway, I will be spending this next week redesigning my ideas as to how to progress with this blog and I hope I find something that works 🙂

Carina xo

Brave The Shave – Update

So time has flown and there are only 4 days left till I shave/chop my hair off for Macmillan and donate it too the Little Princess Trust who make real hair wigs for children who have lost theirs to cancer treatments.

Macmillan is a charity close to my heart and I am proud to be able to do every little I can to help raise money and awareness. My mum beat breast cancer a couple of years ago so I know how troubling and trying this time can be not just for those diagnosed but also for the families. Macmillan offer invaluable support to everyone affected to help them as best they can through this difficult time. It would mean a lot to me if you could help support this amazing charity by sponsoring me!

My cape for the hairdressers arrived in the post a couple of weeks back and now I am eagerly awaiting my shave on Tuesday with my friend Amber who is joining me.

My fundraising is going strong so far and I’ve nearly reached my target, but it would be even more amazing if I could surpass the £250 mark and raise more! So here is another plea to all you amazing readers, please help me raise some more pennies for Macmillan so that they can continue giving their invaluable support to people affected by cancer. If you could click on the link below and donate even just £1 that would be brilliant! You don’t even realise how much it would mean to me 🙂

https://bravetheshave.org.uk/shavers/carina-nausner/

Thanks peeps  ❤

Carina xo

Going Gluten Free

I thought it was high time I really tried to discover what was causing my upset stomachs and decided to start by trialling a gluten free diet. Even if it isn’t a contributing factor it will stop me snacking/binging on lots of foods because so many foods contain gluten and I will  have to meal plan a lot more which will also help bad eating habits.

I think the main problem will be forgetting to check what foods have gluten in them as I would automatically assume it was only flour based foods but often you don’t realise what things are made up of and I’ve been surprised before when looking at ingredient lists, so it will be vital to keep checking!

Now I know you can buy gluten free flour, but I wanted to try baking with other grain flours, so I spent a good bit of money and  stocked up. I bought coconut flour, rice flour, almond flour, linseeds and a grinder to make flaxseed meal. Then I also thought I’d finally try some of Sarah Wilson’s sugar free recipes (which often have rice malt syrup in them) so I ordered some of that too, as well as some organic cocoa powder and organic chia seeds. Now I am ready to begin experimenting with some recipes.

I’ve already tried one Paleo recipe and will share it with you soon and let you know how it went and what it tasted like! For now let’s see how this gluten free diet goes. Oh I also need to really try and keep a record of what I eat/ when I have an upset stomach. It is such a pain and I keep forgetting, but it’s the only way I am going to get to the bottom of this problem!

Carina xo

 

Brave the Shave

The date has been set – on the 11th of August I am joining many others to Brave the Shave for Macmillan and raise money and awareness for such an important cause and one close to my heart.

Cancer affects so many people today and through such a trying time its not just the diagnosed but also family and friends who need help and support. Having personally experienced the pain of having to watch a very close family member fight with cancer and not really being able to do anything to help, I now want to do the little I can do by raising awareness and money to allow Macmillan to continue their invaluable work in supporting families affected by cancer.

In October I did Sober for October, now I will Brave the Shave 🙂

Originally I was only going to shave the side of my head, but the bravery of my friend Toni (who is joining me and braving the buzz cut) has made to reconsider and I have decided to get a nearly full shave too and donate my hair to the Little Princess Trust which provides real hair wigs for children who have lost their own hair through cancer treatments.

This is such an important cause, so please sponsor me – I’d be ever so grateful – every little helps!!!

Many thanks my lovely readers!! 🙂

Carina xox

My Irritating Throat!

About three weeks ago I got another throat infection. I went to the doctor who briefly peered into my mouth and said, yes tonsillitis and perscribed me the antibiotic Amoxicillin. As it wasn’t Penicillin I was sceptic because so far that is the only antibiotic that has cleared tonsillitis for me. Nevertheless I took it hoping it might work, but alass I realized it was very likely the same antibiotic I had tried a different time which only being a course of five days didn’t work.

So, still not seeing an improvement on the morning of day five I decided to not bother taking the last two tablets and switched to Penicillin instead of which I had a full ten day course at home from a previous time where I hadn’t needed them. My throat did begin to feel less sore and the white infection on the surface of my tonsils seemed to finally clear. After the ten days however my throat continued to be tender and if I retched I still managed to cough up infectious looking spit.

We were off to Germany then and there was no time for the doctor, so I took some homeopathic tablets whilst there, chewed on sage leaves and brewed up some fresh ginger and lemon as well as keeping the strepsils handy. However appart from numbing my pain nothing cleared the infection either.

Yesterday I finally managed to get to the doctors, a different one this time, and asked her to take a swab test, which she did, but now I need to wait till Monday before I get any results. The doctor also looked down my throat but said she couldn’t see much, I was just thinking what??? If I shine a torch down my throat I can spot the infection hiding behind my tonsils and what looks blistered and red at the back of my throat!

I’m fed up of having throat infections and even more pissed of at doctors who never actually do their job properly. How hard is it to investigate what type of infection it actually is and what the cause could be?! A spuctum test or swab test take seconds!!! But no, its too much hassle, instead they just prescribe antibiotics which could help, yes granted, but also may not and only end up killing the good bacteria in my gut or result in other infections!

Right, another rant over ha. Now I just need to endure my sore throat for another couple of days before I find out what it is and hopefully get something that will actually clear it!

Carina xo

A Disjointed Feeling Sorry For Myself Rant – Apologies!

(Quick note – I was going to post this last Thursday before flying to Germany on short notice for the deeply sad and unexpected event of my uncles funeral, however it obviously wasn’t my priority, neither once in Germany where I had precious little time with family, so here’s my belated rant)

Last Monday it was my 22nd Birthday, another new beginning, another new year in my life. I hadn’t really pondered the whole ‘new year in my life’ aspect yet as I found out a couple of days before my birthday that my uncle had died of an unexpected heart attack. On Tuesday after work a horrible realization then started to sink in; triggered by something my dad said I started to really contemplate the last year of my life and my future. My dad was explaining to a friend how out of the blue my uncles death was and said – you know he wasn’t unhealthy, he wasn’t overweight, he didn’t smoke, didn’t really drink, he ate a balanced diet, may not have consciously gone to the gym to stay fit, but was active in everyday life and certainly not unfit in any way… – These words struck a chord with me. I couldnt help but notice that all the things my uncle wasn’t and didn’t do, I am and I do, and I just thought – shit! My BMI is obese, I smoke, I can enjoy my nights out and in with plenty of booze, I don’t regularly use my gym membership or do exercise in general and lastly I may tell myself my meals are 90% healthy, but who am I kidding, I haven’t cut my portion sizes down and I still cave to binge-full snacking which ruins my effort with healthy meals. Essentially I may have turned myself into a living walking time bomb – I have all the conditions that can lead to heart attacks! What am I doing to myself, to my body??!! Diabetes also runs in the family and I fit the category perfectly for that weight related illness too!

It is a good half year since I started this blog and November (I think it was November) was such a brilliant month!! I lost 13lbs cutting out sugar! And what I don’t understand is why I have not been able to get back into the same mind frame again since?! I have kept some good habits like most days I will have banana on bread for breakfast, and I am eating lots of veg with my meals, but my downfall is still snacking!! And over time even my god habits are being less and less frequented. Also, little things like when I said I’d try drinking water before a meal to fill me up and chew more slowly went straight out the window because I completely forgot! I mean I haven’t gained weight at least, I’ve jojoed between 14st 3lbs and 14st 10lbs since November staying under 15st. I am not happy with this however!! I’m embarrassed to have to admit my 0% progress again and again. I’m ashamed with myself for not keeping my priorities in mind!!!

I am literally crying inside right now! I hate myself and I hate the way I look! I keep seeing old photographs and at the time I felt just as big as I do now, but right now I’d do anything to just be the size I was even just a couple of years ago where I could fit into a 14/16 and not have to sometimes even stretch to a 20 because of my bust and bingo wings. I feel so shit right now. I feel like the laughing stock. (written before Germany) On Thursday I am flying to Germany with my dad for my uncles funeral and I’m going to have to admit that I am embarrassed to have to show myself at this weight. I am one of if not the heaviest person in my extended family, no kidding, they pretty much all lead very active healthy lives and gave good metabolic rates or good self control to stay in shape, whatever lucky genes they can thank for their size 8 and 10 bodies I wasn’t so lucky to catch. I always feel soo out of place amongst them. I love them to bits and we all get on very well and I know they love me for who I am, but I still feel like the oddball.

It is such a good feeling being told you look good when someone notices you’ve lost weight – its only happened to me once but I want that feeling of pure joy and achievement again! I want to make heads turn and gasp when I meet people who haven’t seen me in ages and they can see the transformation I’ve gone through – that would be such an awesome feeling, it would boost my self confidence soo much, but it’s not something that get’s handed to you on a plate, it is something I need to truly work for, something I need to earn!

I keep thinking I need to do sober October again as an aid to loose weight because although I have swapped drinks to less sugary drinks, alcohol in general still has calories and can be avoided; but part of me is like, but oooh noo, I love a nice beer and I can’t just not drink 😮 But seriously?! What is more important to me?!?! That I will live a long happy and healthy life? or that I can keep drinking? I have definitely started casual drinking a lot more recently, a nice beer with meals or one in the sun to chill, those I think need to stop. If I can’t cut alcohol completely (although lets be honest that’s just an excuse because of course I technically could) then at least I need to dramatically reduce it!!! If I go on a night out 2 beers should be my maximum! And otherwise I shouldnt really drink at all!

I also need to stop being lazy with my exercise, I keep saying I can’t fit it into my day, but again just an excuse, either I need to make time for it, or if I really can’t fit the gym in, then I can do exercises at home, I have dumbells and can squat, every little helps!

The next step is to just tough luck it and go back to my low sugar diet, if that means no jam for breakfast and no sweets of flavoured yogurts or chocolate then so the fuck be it!

Furthermore, my friends and I talked of a summer holiday, trying to find a last minute deal, but at this rate I don’t even want to go as I will be miss Blobbly hiding in a swimming costume next to my friends looking hot to trot in bikinis. I could easily have been 4 stone lighter by now if I’d continued the way I did in October/November. That depresses me so much, I want to prove to other people that I can stick to something but I mostly need to be able to prove it to myself! (written after Germany) In addition my extended family usually has a one way together every summer and this year it’s in Corsica. At first I didn’t think I’d be able, but ‘s a serious possibility which mean, there’s no way I will go to a beach holiday and be the only size 18 in a bikini amongst all my slim cousins – I’d be mortified!!! The holiday is roughly the first week in September so  have 2 month to shift some weight and tone up! Otherwise no holiday for me!

Right, now I want to apologise for this very long rant of mine, I don’t even know what you must think of me and my constant failures and lectures to myself, god knows I’m mortified at the repeated fails and restarts. Hope you’re all well and doing better than me at the moment!

Carina xo

Lush Haul Part One

The other week I spent an afternoon at the metro centre with my friends and let me tell you it was a day of overspending, but worth every penny. I have been craving some things from lush for ages and finally bought them. Lush isn’t all 100% natural but they try to use as many natural ingredients as possible and are a humanitarian company, so I rather like their products. With no further ado here’s the first lot of what I splashed out on:

Tea Tree Water, Toner Water £7.95 (buy here): So I didn’t actually buy this one on that specific lush trip but thought I’d share my thoughts on it to anyhow as it’s my go-to toner. Tea Tree is a wonder antibacterial, antiseptic and antimicrobial ingredient for anyone with oily or spot prone skin.  I love this toner and use it every morning after cleansing my face. A fusion of tea tree water, grapefruit water and juniper water, this toner is very light and doesn’t sting, unlike a Garnier one that I have at home (I can’t remember which one), but leaves your face feeling clean and fresh. At £7.95 it’s not the cheapest but I must say I have been surprised at how long it has lasts. Definitely worth buying!

Ocean Salt, Face and Body Scrub £13.95 (buy here): I received a little tester earlier this year and completely forgot about it until it rediscovered it the other week. I loved it so much I had to buy a tub of it! Lashings of fine sea salt to scrub and clean, organic limes to brighten and avocado butter to soften your skin. The sea salt does make quite an invigorating scrub and cleans all your pores leaving you feeling squeaky clean and the citrus extracts give it a refreshing feel. At £13.95 again, lush isn’t the cheapest, but a little goes a long way and they also do a smaller pot too, which is the one I got, and I think was about £8 ish.

Enzymion, Facial Moisturiser £14.50 (buy here): I have combination skin and get shiny t-zone quite easily so I used to usually not bother with moisturisers thinking it would just make my skin more grease prone; however after deep cleansing my pores I then often get dry skin around my nose and chin especially so I thought it was time to start moisturising on a regular basis and after much umming and ahhing I went for the Enzymion moisturiser from Lush. Keeps oily skin looking at its best thanks to all the enzymic fresh fruit ingredients, avocado and organic aloe vera we squeeze into each pot. I read a lot of the reviews and was convinced it would be a good choice for my skin. At the beginning I did feel it sting my skin a little, now I don’t know if that’s because it was after using the ocean salt face scrub and my pores were open more than just after cleansing water, but it hasn’t stung the past few days so maybe my skin was just adjusting to it, who knows. Enzymion is super light and soaks in quite quickly, so works perfect for a morning moisturiser underneath make-up. I am liking so far but I think I might need a thinker cream for the night to really soothe my dry prone areas.

Bubblegum Lip Scrub £5.50 (buy here): Out of the three lip scrubs, bubblegum, popcorn and mint I went for the bubblegum for two reasons, one it’s bright PINK and two it did taste a little better than the others. You just use a little and scrub over lips and then lick off if you want, yes it’s edible haha. Since using this my lips are smoother and tighter but if I don’t remember to apply lip balm every couple of hours it also feels like they are drying out faster. I do love this little jar though, all I’d say is do not scrub too often, it can become an addictive process haha but too much exfoliating is bad so maybe keep it to max once a day. I use it every morning as part of my skin routine before make-up.

Charity Pot Hand&Body Lotion £1: In love with this mini tin, perfect for the handbag without having to lug a massive hand cream tube around. The moisturiser is very thin and thus a little goes a long way. It’s a nice quick relief for dry skin, a perfect day cream. For dry skin I would definitely use a thicker more nourishing cream at night though. I work as a barista and as my hand come into contact with water a lot, constant wet then dry hands, leaves them very cracked and dry sometimes and then they need a couple of days of lathering on a thick cream, I mean I haven’t tried this one at time like this, but I feel like it wouldn’t be replenishing enough. Also at £1 a pot which goes directly to charity you don’t have an excuse to not purchase this cute mini pot!

Well I hope you pretty people liked this post. It’s a first, so let me know what you thought. Thanks!

Carina xo

Buddha In Blue Jeans

I bought this book on my Kindle last summer when I started looking into meditation. It is a super short read but one I still want to invest in owing in book format. Buddha In Blue Jeans is a short guide to learning to sit quietly and meditate on your feelings. It’s the sort of book you can read and keep rereading as it continues to be relevant throughout life. I believe it is important to take the time to sit down and meditate, to listen to you yourself and discover why you’re feeling the way you do. For example, I can sometimes be in a really crappy mood, on the verge of tears, and for no apparent reason.

On the Verge of Tears, Self-portrait

Usually one small event will trigger the mood, but the trigger is often not big enough to justify the extent of my emotion. In times like this I find it helpful to then take the time to breath and try and get to the root of what may have caused my mood. Often there is a build-up of small things which when I don’t deal with them just add to a chaos of thoughts rather than giving me the peace of mind I seek. So I urge you all to take the time at least once a week to listen to yourself and go over things that may have cause you pain or irritated you so that you can lay them to rest and move on. Built up emotions can lead to unnecessary quarrels with people around you as you may end up taking your issues out on them even if they’re not the cause.

So to start you of on your meditation journey here is the introduction and first extract from Buddha In Blue Jeans by Tai Sheridan Kentfield. I will post one or two of my favourite passages on what to meditate on in later posts.

 

Introduction:

This is an extremely short, simple, and straight forward book.
It is a universal guide to the practice of sitting quietly and being yourself, which is the same as being Buddha. Sitting quietly can teach you many ways to accept life, meet pain, age gracefully, and die without regret. I wrote this book for one reason: to encourage you to sit quietly every day. Please enjoy being Buddha in Blue Jeans: a person of presence, openness, love, and benefit.

Tai Sheridan Kentfield, California 2011

Sit Quietly

This is the most important Zen practice.
It is the classroom for living a wise and kind life.
Sit anywhere and be quiet: on a couch, a bed, a bench, inside, outside, leaning against a tree, by a lake, at the ocean, in a garden, on an airplane, in your office chair, on the floor, in your car. Meditation cushions are okay too.
Sit at any time: morning, night, one minute, three years.
Wear what you’ve got on. Loosen your waist so that your belly can move with your breath.
Sit as relaxed as possible. Relax your muscles when starting and during sitting.
Sit with your back straight but not stiff. Keep your head upright with your ears level.
Respect all medical conditions. Only take a posture you can. All postures are okay. Do what you can do.
Keep your eyes slightly opened and out of focus. Closing them will make you sleepy and sometimes busy. Opening them wide will keep you busy.
Breathe naturally through your nose. Enjoy breathing. Feel your breath. Watch your breath. Become your breath.
Be like a cat purring. Follow your breath like ocean waves coming in and out.
When you get distracted, come back to the simplest and most basic experience of being alive,
your breathing.
That’s it. No belief. No program. No dogma.
You do not have to be Buddhist. You can be of any faith, religion, race, nationality, gender, relationship status, or capacity.
Just sit quietly, connect with your breath, and pay attention to what happens. You will learn things.
Do it when you want. You decide how much is enough for you. If you do it daily, it will get into your bones.
Please enjoy sitting quietly!
The only way to learn sitting quietly is to do it.

 

Carina xo